I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
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