i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
