He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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