This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
