Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
