I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
