he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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