I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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