Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize