We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
