you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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