I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
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