I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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