Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
