Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
