I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
