Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
