don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
