My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
