at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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