I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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