she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize