I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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