Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
