did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Randomize