i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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