youre lurking in front of me
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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