You work out of a Hotel?
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
