I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
