I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
