ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is Oprah even human
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
