Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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