HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
