I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Randomize