the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
