new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i now understand why vodka
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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