So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
