Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(541): View more from Oregon

we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.

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(818): View more from California

We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly

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(831): View more from California

There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy

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(347): View more from New York

Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta

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(514): View more from Quebec

MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.

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(847): View more from Illinois

you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.

(1-847): View more from Illinois

that explains so much

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