Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
