you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
