I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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