I CAN MOONWALK!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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