Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize