My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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