I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize