Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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