Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
