I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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