We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
