For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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