Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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