Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
