is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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