I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Randomize
