redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
